yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize