I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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