i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
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I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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