Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
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I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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