I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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