Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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