I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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