I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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