Can i not drive my cunt home
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize