best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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