i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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