you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize