took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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