Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(586): View more from Michigan

if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(586): if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/wvv2

Replies (0) Good night (1305) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea. http://tfl.nu/cell

Replies (41) Good night (773) Bad night (6320) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers? http://tfl.nu/g3e9

Replies (44) Good night (7028) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(310): View more from California

LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

(310): View more from California

And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers. (310): And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow. http://tfl.nu/mkft

Replies (26) Good night (4085) Bad night (1150)
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much. http://tfl.nu/q4wr

Replies (22) Good night (4596) Bad night (1233) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(281): View more from Texas

Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(281): Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing. http://tfl.nu/duvr

Replies (14) Good night (708) Bad night (2672) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(763): View more from Minnesota

Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(763): Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits. http://tfl.nu/o3v5

Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (2410) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many? http://tfl.nu/72mb

Replies (27) Good night (2598) Bad night (1420) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do http://tfl.nu/m83n

Replies (30) Good night (3300) Bad night (1503)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?! http://tfl.nu/ccm6

Replies (7) Good night (2359) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday http://tfl.nu/2xqb

Replies (5) Good night (453) Bad night (1259) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(707): View more from California

nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids. http://tfl.nu/kj6p

Replies (11) Good night (2572) Bad night (434)
Favorite
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(920): Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA. http://tfl.nu/o6qd

Replies (5) Good night (1103) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice. http://tfl.nu/9rvd

Replies (4) Good night (1141) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on

(1-970): View more from Colorado

maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on (1-970): maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit http://tfl.nu/o1f7

Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (259)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: