We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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