Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize