On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just high enough for therapy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize