You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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