Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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