i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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