You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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