I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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