you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize