Please don't use social media to get back at me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize