ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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