Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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