i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
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Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
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Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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