He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
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THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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