Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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