Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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