if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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