im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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