i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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