Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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