I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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