Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
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So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
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It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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