you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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