bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
look no pants
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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