Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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