i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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