fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize