well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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