my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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