dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
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Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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