We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
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I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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I fill condoms, not promises.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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