Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
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I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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