In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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