dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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