If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize