I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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